“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart” Judy Garland.
Such a wonderful and true quote. Before weddings, come engagements. To get there someone whispered in your ear, but your heart heard it. The first step is made when two people meet and are attracted to each other, from there one advances and one receives. Followed by a kiss, laughter, hugs and more. After a while love happens. ( I for one believe in love at first sight, but that doesn’t always happen or is always necessary) We realize we love each other, we want to spend more time together, get closer to each other, learn more about one another, protect each other from harm. As a woman, we wait for the moment, that special moment and anticipate not only the question but how will he ask.. Men (I can only assume) think it through, are sure, go out to buy a ring, and hopefully are creative enough to make that moment special for her. This is the moment that each agree to spend the rest of their life (ideally) together. It’s a life changing moment and should never be taken lightly or for granted. So I have a few things I would like to say, probably make some upset but hey such is life.
WOMEN.. dear women.. I know you are waiting for prince charming to come on his horse and slip that ring on your finger and carry you away. Your day will come. Listen though, stop pressuring your men into popping the question. There is nothing worse than a man forced into a marriage he isn’t ready for. I know the wait can be long and annoying. You question if he will ever ask, if he really loves you, if he is just leading you on.. Maybe. I don’t know your boyfriend. Chances are though, that he isn’t ready yet, he may want to save more money, advance his career, be able to buy a house, has it planned for Christmas or your birthday next year, maybe he wants you to trust him to be a man and stop nagging. There are many reasons why he hasn’t asked yet, but trust him. If you want to address the topic of marriage, go ahead. Ask him if he wants to get married one day, if he wants kids, his life plan. Listen to him. If he doesn’t mention you in his 5 year plan, it may be time to talk. If he does, good for you, give him time. I have seen so many women nag nag nag and pressure to get a ring.. not just any ring, but a 2-10 k ring, right now and explain in depth how they want to be proposed to. Now, 2 things will happen. 1) He runs for the hills. 2) He gets a credit card, debt he didn’t have before, and a fiancee he loves but wasn’t ready to commit to for life and therefore starts resenting her slowly but surely, yet did it anyway because he loved her enough to not wanting to lose her. You didn’t win anything but a shiny ring and lots of attention. I also know that not all women are like that and times are changing, women are more upfront and independent and some may just ask themselves. I am old school. I think the man should ask, on one knee, when he is ready, not a day before. And oh, never say YES YES YES.. if you do not love him 100%. It is a commitment, a promise. If you need more time, take that time. Listen to your gut.
MEN… when you are ready to pop the question and want to spend the rest of your life with the other half of your soul out of love not obligation, then please please please be somewhat creative/ romantic. Listen to your love about what they like, we do drop subtle hints:) Look at her jewelry, is it gold or silver is it simple and subtle or elaborate and flashy, does she like diamonds or does she favor another gem? Then moving on to the setting, when and where and with who.. does she like an audience, is close to her family, or is she shy and doesn’t like attention, has she mentioned a place that is her favorite or did you meet her somewhere special, is she really really romantic, does she prefer winter, spring, summer or fall? I know it sounds like a lot but in reality it should be easy to figure out, you know her best. I for example, don’t like crowds or lots of attention, but I love my family and close friends. I love diamonds, white gold and nothing tooooo flashy but I do like the bling. (I love the sets that come with little that allow you to add one gem per year married) I love winter and Christmas and I am a nerd/geek.
My husband listened to me. He proposed on Christmas. I came home from work at 11 am, my kids are running around like crazy all excited, of course it’s Christmas. We open present and I get mine. I open a big box and in it is a small box.. in it is an envelope. I opened it and found a card with a riddle. I looked at them and everyone smiled so I figured, why not, we play games a lot. So I figured out the answer and it was bathroom. So I go there and find another envelope with another riddle. This time it’s closet.. ok.. There is another envelope, answer laundry room.. of I go.. I find another and this one sends me to…THE MAILBOX? That’s the streets up from where we live. Ok fine.. I grab my keys, go to the car, realize I have the wrong ones go back and the door is locked.. WTH.. my kids are frantic screaming you can’t go in the backyard!! They bring me the right set of keys. I leave and am confused.. backyard .. oh yes he listened!!!! I wanted a puppy of course that’s it. I drive, I find another envelope and can’t for the life of me figure out the riddle. I was thinking puppy and this made no sense. I end up coming home to my kids blocking the door telling me I have to wait. I smoke a cigarette outside wondering why a puppy has to be this complicated. The door opened, my kids tell me to close my eyes, I oblige and I am led to the backdoor.. They open it and half push me outside. I open my eyes and OMG! There is my boyfriend, dressed up in a suit with a tie, standing next to a table, with a white table cloth on it, my favorite Poinsettias in white and red lining the table, and in the middle is a single envelope. I AM SO CONFUSED. WHERE IS THE DOG? ( I do have a ditzy side to me and I did not expect a marriage proposal) He asks me to read it and it’s riddles solution was “would you do me the honor of taking my last name” While I read it he bent down on one knee and asked me if I would do him the honor of being his wife and slipped a gorgeous ring with diamond in the band and a flower shape up top on my finger. I normally don’t cry but I did then. I nodded, my kids cheered we kissed and WOW.
He didn’t do anything crazy, expensive or embarrassing but he listened to all the things I like and made it a day to remember. It was creative and I had no idea. I do wish though, I had someone take pictures. Or have had an engagement shooting to capture the moments.
Are you waiting to get engaged? What are you hoping for? How was your engagement if you are already married. Did you have pictures taken or do you wish you had?
So in summary, the day will come, I hope it will be perfect for you, I hope it’s out of love for each other and every bit as awesome as it should be! If it happened already I hope the same and if not.. maybe a renewal is due 😛 don’t forget the photograph 🙂
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