It’s been a long long time since I have read this book. I’ve seen it pop up more than once recently and I think it’s great. If you are in need of a book that will change your life and the way you see the world this is for you. There is a joke that I am the cranky German, especially before I have my coffee 🙂 but really, I love life. With all its ups and downs, with its challenges and happy moments. Because in the end, we can learn from even the worst of days, even if we learn how to avoid another day like that! If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know I am a big proponent of finding the good in life, seeing the beauty, learning how to grow as a person, a mother, a wife. Never stop learning, living and smiling. Tough sometimes and that’s okay. It’s okay to say, I had a bad day or man, I screwed up.
The book talks about how to make people like you. In a way, you’d think that it’s obvious, like SMILE. But we become busy with life, stress and overstuffed schedules all contribute to the lack of smiling people. We are too consumed with ourselves to give another person the time of day. STOP. Stop and smile. Do it, I promise you, you’ll receive a smile from the next person, you’ll receive a friendly hello, you might even make someones day!
You know what is also important? Please and thank you. Pay attention throughout your day, you’ll find it lacking. I make a point to say both, always. Even a short “Thanks!” will do, but it acknowledges your appreciation for the other person. They’ll recognize your gratitude and will be grateful in return.
Which reminds me of Matt – who is a waiter at Longhorn Steakhouse in Austin. He has been our waiter 3 times now and if I could request him and get his schedule, I totally would. Matt – this is my shoutout to you! He is the best waiter I have had in years. He naturally employs the tactics described by Dale Carnegie. He smiles, appears to be genuinely interested, he is extremely attentive and complimentary (our kids knew and ordered a medium rare steak), he always asks how our day was, our food, if there is anything he could do for us, he is on point and shows curiosity about the food and the way we order it (makes it about us) and if you watch him, you’d think he is only there for us. In the end, he even took the time to look at our name and when the bill came he said, “Whenever you’re ready Mr. Ayres, I hope you have a great day.” then he brought me a coffee to go!
Some of you may say that Matt is just doing his job and that’s how it should be, but he is exceptional. He goes above and beyond, always has a smile and a happy go lucky attitude! It is beyond refreshing, he makes me smile, my kids smile and it’s sincere. Which is why we return over and over. The food is good, but the service kills it, in a good way.
If you take that approach to life, you’ll be on your way to many friends and happiness. Let’s look at some core values of successful and happy people.
You may not want to influence people or need a lot of friends, but taking these values and incorporating them into your everyday life, can greatly increase your personal happiness. Think of it like a ripple effect, you smile at the cashier who looks super tired, compliment her on something and say please and thank you. 9 out of 10 times, that will boost her mood and she will carry that to the next customer. That customer may have not expected a happy greeting and is now in turn happy as well. It doesn’t always work, but even if it only works once, you made a difference. It’s the same concept people use with pay it forward, where they pay the next persons coffee at Starbucks for example. Small gestures will go a long way, they will be noticed, and you will make a difference. Maybe small, maybe huge, you’ll never know if you don’t try.
Take this for example, I write because I have something to say, to share with you and whoever comes across my blog. But I always have hope, that at least one person is touched by my thoughts and wants to make a difference in someone elses life or even their own. If I can inspire one person to greatness or love, then every word I have ever written was worth it.
If you are interested in the book that inspired this post: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, Arthur R. Pell (Editor), Dorothy Carnegie
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