I love men. Most of my friends are men. I love how simple they are and how they do not take things personal all the time. How they give you honest answers, don’t sugarcoat, aren’t jealous of your new shoes or weight loss. Men seem worry free to me most of the time and I enjoy it. Women on the other hand, well being one I know how high-strung we can be.
My mom took this picture and it captures the essence of it all. They are fun, they don’t care, no worry in the world. They are children at heart that perform adult duties but have no problem chilling on the couch playing PS3 or hanging with their buddies, telling nasty stories and loving every second of it! I envy that sometimes. I am too worried about too many things all the time I can’t relax.
But are men really just simplistic creatures? They would definitely like to think so. Women would like to think so, but men are so much more. Yes, they take the easy way, when they tell you you look good, they mean it, when they say I don’t care then chances are they really don’t. Yet, there is so much more to men, deep layers that not everyone gets to see. Men are protectors, knights, heroes, lovers, fighters, big ole cuddle bears, they are sensitive and caring, loving and charmers and in reality just want their family and loved ones to be happy. They can’t show it of course, that would ruin the picture..
Men may appear superficial, wanting to date models and the like but really is it not what we think? We look at the nice guy and think aww he is such a good friend.. POW friend zoned.. then we move on to the guy that has the bad boy attitude with the tattoos who we already know, will break our heart. Then we go back and get comfort from the nice guy till the next bad boy comes along, all the while missing the best thing is right in front of us! So truthfully, why would any sane guy stay the nice guy.. I wouldn’t. Having to watch all the girls get taken by the other guys who have an air of I DON’T CARE. So they turn.. into what we don’t want and then women take the bait but now want the nice guy back.. way to confuse a guy. Revert back to simplistic creature who pretends sandwiches, beer, and sports make them just happy.
Men want what we want. Love, a family, friends, fun, excitement, companionship, good & intelligent conversation, beauty and the feeling to be needed. They are deep creatures and maybe because I am a woman and the concept of “I said you look pretty and I mean it just like that” is foreign to me, there is of course the option that I read too much into it all. But I do believe men have layers and if you are one of the few selected that gets to peel them back then you are lucky. Nothing sexier than a man who can open up and let you into his world beyond sandwiches, dirty jokes and sports.
I also love men with character.. and eyes..oh the eyes. Hope you enjoyed my rant of the day and the pictures. Do you feel the same? Or are men only 7 year olds that don’t have a worry in the world?
Like me, share this, follow 🙂 most of all, comment ❤ and again, thanks to my mom who is letting me use all of her awesome pictures!
Dee
Deanna Ayres UX/UI Design 
I really enjoyed reading .. until.. I dont like the between the line message that women “produce” bad guys. I ‘d prefer the view that everybody has the freedom of choice.. what implies that a good guy that chooses to become a bad guy… for what reason again? a right for base motives .. hmm was he really a nice guy before? 😉
Fair enough. I don’t think I intended it as producing, more as we have certain expectations and especially here in the US women friend zone the good guy. It is frustrating to watch. Do I think men can pull themselves out of it without turning into the bad guy per say? Absolutely. And don’t we all have a *bad* side? 😀
While I do not think women are responsible for men becoming bad boys I do feel that they contribute. I am simple, shy, honest, and a good “friend.” I have been friend zoned my whole life and one day I got sick of it. I decided that I had nothing to lose and played the ass card. And low and behold it worked! The “girl” that held my interested became obsessed. I was pissed that this worked. Why do we have to resort to games to get the girl? Do women complain about it but secretly love the “game”? Lucky for me, my new found confidence gave me the juevos to tell her exactly what was on my mind. After she realized how she had treated me and after I was comfortable enough with her to revert back to simple Jeffrey, we have an amazing, open, passionate relationship three years strong. Now these are all generalizations, I do notice that men and women react and adjust their behavior to try and gain an advantage over the competition. Women dress and make them selves up to try and be more feminine while men try and act tough and cooler to be more manly. It tends to get out of hand.
Absolutely it is a competition.. and a silly one at that 🙂 I guess needed in this society. Have you asked her why she didn’t respond till you played the ass card? I’d be curious! I have given the advice, be an ass before but it breaks my heart everytime since it changes who the person is and I believe they should be loved for who they are! In your case it worked out into something amazing! Thank you for sharing I really appreciate it!
most men are like that, i think. but there are the bad guys that instantly release the feeling in women that they can rescue them and show them how love can change things. tragic trap! unless you need constant letdowns run as fast as you can and get you one of the good ones that can stand their ground when needed. a real man doesn’t have to proof all the time that he is THE man. he can afford beeing nice and not loose his image because people will pay him respect naturally.
love your blog 🙂
I agree with a true man can afford to be nice and have respect. Respect also comes with age. Younger women usually do not value quality over bad boy image.
Being a guy, and having been a nice guy, then converting to the dark side, and then finding my way back to the light, I have to agree with what has been said. For years I was always being the nice guy, the gentleman, the caring nurturer. I admit, I was socially awkward, and a card carrying DnD playing, MS-DOS loving nerd. I learned how to adapt socially, and just became a normal nice guy. I admit, I’m no looker, but I have been told that I am/was relatively easy on the eyes.
Either way, I was always nice to girls. I would always be there for them, listen to their problems, comfort them, blah blah blah. Guess what? I heard the, “Wow, you’re so cool. I’m so glad we’re friends, and I love how you’re always there for me. I couldn’t imagine losing you as a friend.” Wait, hear that? That’s the sound of my heart breaking. Over and over again. Finally, I got sick of it. I saw the guys that the girls I liked were going for, so I donned my thespian hat, and set out to find new groups. Sadly, it worked like a charm. If I was standoffish, arrogant, aloof, uncaring, cold, and emotionally unavailable, it was moths to flame. Unfortunately, I became stuck in that mode for a while. I hated myself for who I had become. This lead to self destructive behavior (smoking, drinking, no drugs though, thankfully).
Over time, I reached a balance. I could still be that nice caring guy, but I had to carry my acid wit with me, always a backhanded compliment at the ready, with self deprecating humor on standby.
Bottom line is, guys want to be loved. The want is so great, that for most, tell them who you want them to be, they’ll be it, just love them. Sad, but true.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am happy you were able to find the balance but as you point out, you still have to carry your acid wit and can’t just be who you are. I do not understand why so many women let the good guys, who would treat them like a queen because they just love them walk away and in the end settle for someone who is not genuine or not as loving without much in return.
Have you found a special someone yet? I really hope that you find someone who loves you for who you are!
I was one of those bad boys who didn’t have a care in the world about girls in general and, I was just playing the game. Thinking about it now man, I was an ass! Since then to now, I have matured alot and thank God for that. It’s a destructive life style and when you want to have a serious relationship you won’t know how too..
I have a daughter who is 15 years old and see her having interest in boys, and how over protected i’ve became with her(those are her words)! I guess what goes around might come around, right!! No, if I can help it!!! But with a daddy like me I will always be on my toes..lol
You did mature though! From what I have been reading about you you seem to have turned out to be a great guy and dad! That’s what counts and it is nice to see Bad Boy gone soft 😀 there is hope haha
There are definitely some interesting musings in this post. The line about the nice guy getting friend zoned was my ‘aha’ moment. I realized that in the past I held men to a completely unfair standard. I’m not drawn to the ‘bad boy’ per se, but I do take notice of men that are good looking. In the end, I’m usually turned off by their personality. Either way, I’ll try to be more aware of this going forward.
Thanks for the interesting read
I have been there and done that 🙂 bad boy and looks on 2 separate occasions.. I learned my lesson 🙂 Sometimes they aren’t mature enough yet or just will not work with my personality. I have a LOT of friends that get friend zoned and I shake my head going ” are you nuts? He is the best thing that ever happened to you!” Sometimes giving a second look or chance can go a long way. Glad you had an “aha” moment 🙂 I hoped to inspire someone to look twice ❤