My Soul In Writing

soul, writing, author, writer, quote, books,

I write every day. I write for work, I write for my kids, I write status updates, blog posts, postcards (yes, sure do), notes, emails, shopping lists and so much more. But I need to write from my soul. Life is busy and hectic and often I talk myself out of blogging because other things are more “important” in that moment.

I write a lot each day, so by 10pm it’s easy for me to find an excuse as to why I’ve written enough, why I don’t have anything to say or why it’s too late. What I often forget is that yes, I do write all day long but not from my soul, my sweet spot, my deep, colorful well of thoughts that just want to come out and make a splash on a page. When I write from my soul I feel so happy, so free, so full of emotion, of self discovery. When I write and create, I am me. I am my INFJ self in all its glory.

When I wrote my last long post yesterday “Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst” I started to feel insecure because it had been a while since I wrote from my heart online. I shared it with a dear friend pre-publishing and asked for honest feedback. I was fully expecting her to comment on the fact that I have a tendency to ramble, that the intro was too boring, that it was all over the place. But she did neither. She came back with nothing but praise and happiness. She talked about how it was beautiful, honest and raw from the soul. An emotional journey she could take with me, feel with me and wanted to share. She talked about parenting magazines and about how it should go viral. Talk about feedback!

Whether or not she meant every single word or not really doesn’t matter. What mattered is that she could feel it. I could take her on the journey as I saw it play out in my mind, how it felt in my heart. What mattered is the fact that I need this, that she reminded me that it’s okay to be insecure but as long as I stay true to myself, to my thoughts and emotions, as long as my words help only one person in the world get through a rough time.. well, then I did my job.

All it takes for me to consider anything a win is for one person to find happiness, encouragement, faith, hope or love in the words that leave my soul. Because that one person matters just as much as the thousands who’d read it if it were viral.

All it takes is one.

My souls secrets may never fully be disclosed to the world as I know it but if my words have an impact and touch anothers soul then we’ve connected on an intimate level not many people share.

Near or Far – My Family is Always in My Heart

family, family quote, distance, love,As many of you know, most of my family lives in Germany. My parents, sisters, grandparents and other extended family in addition to the select few whom I have been lucky to call life-long friends. Time often flies by without talking to one another but in my heart, I carry them with me. I carry their love and friendship close to my heart and no matter how much time goes by before we are able to speak again, I’ll know that we will pick up right where we left off.

In the day and age of “nuclear” families, basic units away from the greater family hub, we leave behind more than just people. We leave behind close connections, a comforting hug, a shoulder to cry on, a big table with everyone gathered for dinner. We leave behind quick visits, coffee dates and free “babysitters”.

But we don’t have to leave love behind. The connection and bond we have forged throughout the years.

No, we keep the love, the memories, the smells and sounds tucked safely in our hearts and souls. In a treasured chest, protected from the harsh distance we face. A place we can access when we need it the most.

Because love knows no distance.

Home Is Where You Are Loved The Most And Act The Worst.

home, love, quote

How true is this? I haven’t heard this quote like this before but it makes so much sense to me. One would think that at home, where you are most loved, most respected, most welcome, you’d be your best too. But you aren’t because you are also most comfortable there, most relaxed. You know that at home love is strong and your family loves you for who you are. With all the good and all the bad you have to offer. You know that when you have a bad day, they may be upset, but you’ll be forgiven. You have trust and faith in your family that they can handle you and Continue reading “Home Is Where You Are Loved The Most And Act The Worst.”

There is no greatness where simplicity, goodness and truth are absent.

“There is no greatness where simplicity, goodness and truth are absent.” ― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

I’ve not fully read the book yet but I do intend to finish it this year. My book list has grown substantially and with the busy summer, time has been against me. No more. I love reading, I love the feel, touch and smell of any good book. Books are an escape from reality but by the same token, can bring you closer to the reality that is you. Books can tell you a lot about yourself and who you want to be. They secretly expose what you long for, what you crave, what Continue reading “There is no greatness where simplicity, goodness and truth are absent.”

Fall ~ Tales of the New Season & Life as I know it

It’s been a while and life as I know it has been crazy. Sick kids, sick dog, lots and lots of work and the start of a new school year have kept me running in circles. But as fall has come, the seasons are changing, I too want to turn a new leaf.

I’ve grown immensely this past year in my position at the marketing agency I work at. I’ve continued to educate myself, find new tools, new people, new knowledge, tactics and strategies. Marketing is a fast changing landscape and I want to be the best I can be. I was able to be a part of some growth hacking campaigns and realized again, how much I love to learn about people. How people think, what they want, what they know, the feedback they have to share and the why’s behind it.

While not everyone believes in personality tests, for me personally and my husband, they have proven to be surprisingly accurate. I am by this test and INFJ: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging. Apparently it is the more rare form of them all, with less than 1% of the population that fit the bill. How true it hold though. If you know me you’d bet that I was extroverted when in reality I am very very introverted. I love living in my head and having time to myself, to reflect and to think. By that same token however, I am as empathetic and curious as they come and this is where my “extrovertedness” appears. I genuinely care about people, their feelings, their thoughts, their story. I want to hear it, I want to learn from them and I want to understand. It drives my husband and sometimes even my children a little crazy when I ask:But Why Asks the INFJ

Why? Why do I want to know? Why do you not?

Take the time to know your co-workers, your teachers, your friends and even your family. Talk to a stranger at the grocery store, the waiter at the restaurant and inquire about them. Often, you’ll be pleasantly surprised what you can learn. If you aren’t a talker, that’s fine too. Remember, I am introverted and there are a lot of situations I just don’t feel comfortable to speak to someone. How can you still learn? By watching. Observing the world around you is one of the most underutilized skills of this generation in my opinion. I watch people go about their day while missing magical moments and situations all the time. As a photographer by heart, I am naturally on the lookout for these moments, but I also make it a conscious effort to observe the world as it happens around me. I find joy and sadness but both are healthy emotions. It stimulates the mind and soul to observe events, people, nature, and oneself. It allows for reflection and discussions that otherwise would never happen.

Over the summer I’ve observed my life less than I like. I was busy and tired with not enough hours in the day. But how can I write about the beautiful world as I see it, when I haven’t paid attention? I can’t and I haven’t. This in turn weighs on my mind and life as I know it is now life as I don’t want it. The beauty of self reflection and being observant is the chance to catch these things and to actively change what doesn’t make you happy. So with fall and this new season, life as I know it may not happen, but life as I want it will.

A change in priorities, a want for more and a passion for life, love and family are part of my plan. A plan for more wisdom, more knowledge, more patience, better understanding and compassion for others and myself.

As the seasons change, what will you change?

Change is the end result of all true learning.

“Change is the end result of all true learning.”
― Leo Buscaglia

quote by c.s. lewis
future

Isn’t that the truth? What a beautiful quote and great start to my week, and hopefully yours. Change is one of those things one loves and hates at the same time. I for one, usually have a tougher time with change than most. I like my set schedule, my routine, knowing what comes tomorrow. Lately I have been thinking about it though. Is that smart? Or do I just live my life without actually living it. It’s like a well oiled machine, it functions and runs but to what end? Where is it taking me, or rather, where am I taking myself? What have I done so far in this life and what do I really want to achieve? A friend asked me some tough questions Friday night. When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing that brings you into thought? When you go to sleep, what are you pondering? When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep, what do you do? What would you do for free just so you could do it because you have an burning urge to do it but you can’t say why? What is that?

I thought I’d have to think on that for a while, but to my surprise the answers came fast. 3 total and yes, they include photography and children. I am not ready to disclose those 3 thoughts just yet, but I wanted to share the questions. I learn a little bit from every person I meet. I think everyone should learn something from every person they meet. Learning doesn’t just have to be positive either. Think about it. Friday night, I learned a little bit about myself. Who am I kidding. A lot. It was there all along but it took questions and a conversation to put it in perspective. Sometimes those revelations are just plain scary. I learned, now I am changed. Changed inside, but stuck in an external rut. Now that needs to change. To me, that’s hard. With every change and self discovery, there are more questions:

How? When? What? With Who? Alone? Together? Time? Smart? Silly? And so on.

I am lucky to have a very supportive husband. He lets me talk about my thoughts for hours, listens to my different ideas, my back and forth as I struggle to decide, my ups and downs with my passionate heart and then he offers feedback. You see, he is the realistic one, the grounded one. I am an INFJ – which means I am very intuitive and feeling, where as he is an INTJ – a thinker above all, a strategist. Don’t mistake me for a head in the clouds kind of gal though, you couldn’t be further from the truth.

But talking and having feedback from a thinker, emotions set aside is invaluable. Especially for someone like me, who is on a mission to never stop learning. Yes, I’ve realized that when you never stop true learning, then you will always have to change. You have to evolve, grow and start again. I am happy though, as much as I don’t like change, I need it. We need it. It stops us from becoming complacent, from becoming a machine that runs at the same speed, day in and day out. It forces us to reevaluate ourselves, our surroundings, our life. It forces us to adapt and challenges us by taking away the comfort we now. Once you know something will make you a better person, or a worse, you can’t “unknow” it. You are faced with a choice, will you live on with the knowledge and not change, or will you take that knowledge and change?

Most things don’t change overnight. Change takes time. It’s an ongoing process, hopefully with the goal of becoming a better and happier person.