My Soul In Writing

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I write every day. I write for work, I write for my kids, I write status updates, blog posts, postcards (yes, sure do), notes, emails, shopping lists and so much more. But I need to write from my soul. Life is busy and hectic and often I talk myself out of blogging because other things are more “important” in that moment.

I write a lot each day, so by 10pm it’s easy for me to find an excuse as to why I’ve written enough, why I don’t have anything to say or why it’s too late. What I often forget is that yes, I do write all day long but not from my soul, my sweet spot, my deep, colorful well of thoughts that just want to come out and make a splash on a page. When I write from my soul I feel so happy, so free, so full of emotion, of self discovery. When I write and create, I am me. I am my INFJ self in all its glory.

When I wrote my last long post yesterday “Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst” I started to feel insecure because it had been a while since I wrote from my heart online. I shared it with a dear friend pre-publishing and asked for honest feedback. I was fully expecting her to comment on the fact that I have a tendency to ramble, that the intro was too boring, that it was all over the place. But she did neither. She came back with nothing but praise and happiness. She talked about how it was beautiful, honest and raw from the soul. An emotional journey she could take with me, feel with me and wanted to share. She talked about parenting magazines and about how it should go viral. Talk about feedback!

Whether or not she meant every single word or not really doesn’t matter. What mattered is that she could feel it. I could take her on the journey as I saw it play out in my mind, how it felt in my heart. What mattered is the fact that I need this, that she reminded me that it’s okay to be insecure but as long as I stay true to myself, to my thoughts and emotions, as long as my words help only one person in the world get through a rough time.. well, then I did my job.

All it takes for me to consider anything a win is for one person to find happiness, encouragement, faith, hope or love in the words that leave my soul. Because that one person matters just as much as the thousands who’d read it if it were viral.

All it takes is one.

My souls secrets may never fully be disclosed to the world as I know it but if my words have an impact and touch anothers soul then we’ve connected on an intimate level not many people share.

The Legacy I’ll Leave My Children

My LegacyIt was my daughters 11th birthday last Saturday and it didn’t hit me until today, when I read a post about leaving your legacy by the lovely ladies from Ask Ajna, how fast time has gone by. It feels like it was yesterday (yes, so much cliché) when I found out I was pregnant, gave birth 9 months later and even when she took her first steps. While it feels like yesterday, it has been 11 years and in those 11 years we have been through ups and downs in life. We have moved more than once and across continents too! We have been through deployments, divorce and the mental illness of family members. We have been through thick and thin and today it hit me. We are past half of her childhood and I feel like I missed most of it.

She is a gifted child, is in the gifted program at school and tested Continue reading “The Legacy I’ll Leave My Children”